so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
