I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
