Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
