Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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