Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
