do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
