Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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