i just had sex bonerless
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
