Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
