i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
