pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
