I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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