There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize