Who did Billy Mays play for?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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