Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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