question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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