Dual....:-)
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
