you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize