So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
