You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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