Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
