Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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