I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just found puke in my bra..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Found the puke drawer
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
