Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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