Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Shame - the story of my life.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
