do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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