You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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