Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
