Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
