There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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