just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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