you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize