Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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