Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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