i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
