i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
wow bdsm is so cute
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