you mean i was at the winter classic?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
