wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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