i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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