Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
