What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Randomize
