If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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