I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
