brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
