I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
