Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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