i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize