I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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