Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize