hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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