So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
