I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
