eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize