i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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