Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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