Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
