You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
