When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize