My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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