YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
