also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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