His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
