READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
