I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
