but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're a waste of cheezeits
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
