listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize