so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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