North Korea, Best Korea!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
