I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I looked at my own cervix.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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