I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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