And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
