Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize