He is an equal opportunity slut.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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