Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
