I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
