Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
