mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
