true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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