Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
