My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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