We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
